Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
