Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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