I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize