**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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