so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
