I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
