And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
