Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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