it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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