i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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