Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
