Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Be still, my beating vagina.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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