why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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