I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
