Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
