I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
