we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
