I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I came so hard my ears popped.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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