I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
