i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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