Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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