No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
