I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
