Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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