saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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