WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
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I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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