Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
