If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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