i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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