Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
