Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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