best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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