America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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