I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
