I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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