Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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