She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
