Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
