I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
