They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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