Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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