as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
