I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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