My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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