Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
