i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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