so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
North Korea, Best Korea!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
