no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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