i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
