you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
