I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
