I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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