I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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