he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
