i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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