It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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